Chapter 26

Taylor hung up the phone, his hand resting on the receiver as he thought about what Billy had just said to him. He smiled, glad that they were all having such a good time, but he felt rather alone at that moment. He didn’t know his family anymore; least it was how he was feeling as he started to walk back to Jeremy and his dinner.

“So, everything alright at home?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah they are all fine, sounds like they are having a party actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Chris brought home pizza from Tony’s”

“Wow, that’s the place you like the best isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was the one place that would deliver to us, Billy and I used to call there a lot, or just hike over there after school when we knew Dad wouldn’t be home for dinner.”

“Lot of history there, so why the dog face?”

“I don’t know, guess feeling like they are moving on…”

“leaving you behind?”

“sort of I guess, I don’t know Jer, it feels weird, I mean I wanted to be out on my own, Shit I really fought him hard for this, now I have it and I feel like they are both sort of, I don’t know, abandoning me”

“Sounds like maybe you should move back home”

“What? You nuts, I could no longer go back home to live than I could exist without you near me, fuck Jeremy, where do you come up with that stuff?”

“But, shit man you have me all confused.”

“sorry, I know it is weird isn’t it, a part of me, inside somewhere feels like I am missing out on what maybe I did miss out on before, I know I can’t go back, there is too much history, and besides, I have my own life to make now, one with you”

“Sorry, I guess I am still kind of insecure, you really mean it, when you said you couldn’t exist without me?”

“Yeah, I can’t explain that either, I mean Jeremy you mean so much to me, you have given me so much, and I know I haven’t even come close to giving back to you”

“Shit, you keep talking like that Taylor Bradford and you going to have me in tears.”

“Well, Billy did say a good cry helps at times”

“Fuck that, I need you in me more than I need to cry”

Taylor looked into Jeremy’s dark eyes, and he could see the truth in what he had just said. Strange only a few minutes ago he had no thought of having sex, now he could feel his cock sticking out of his shorts and the pre cum already starting to ooze out as he stood up to lead Jeremy into their bedroom. Damn, he felt so needed as he guided his lover to their bed.

Together they stretched out on the large queen size bed. Taylor lay next to Jeremy, their shorts already off as he gazed into the eyes, seeing the love there and feeling it being transmitted to his own nerves and body. He could feel his heart quicken a little, and yet he was in no rush nor was Jeremy.

They kissed for a brief moment, just a peck, but one that spoke volumes to their hearts. He could feel the beat picking up and he breathed in deeply, filling his lungs for what lay ahead. The room was dark, and only a small night-light shone from down by the floor near the bathroom. It was amazing how sensual it was, to just lay there, staring at each other for minutes at a time, only breaking the gazing with the occasional kiss or light touch against the skin.

As they lay there, Taylor could feel the pain in his soul coming to the surface. He could feel the loss of his closeness the most at these times, and yet it didn’t hurt so much because all he had to do was reach out with his hand, to gently touch the body that lay next to him and he knew that he had moved on to a new beginning.

To him, that maybe was the most important thing. He had surrendered his one safe harbour for the calling of a different port. Now he had a new haven, a new place to call his and while he would still miss the touch of his brother, or the calm solid voice of his father, he had much more now. Somewhere inside he knew he still had them, but now his focus was on Jeremy, his new and lifetime safe harbour.

His hand reached out, to gently touch the soft skin, and he could feel the small tremors that flowed within Jeremy with each touch of his hand. That in itself was worth it all, to have someone react to his touch, to his needs and for him to react back to.

His hand moved gently down the warm flesh, touching it all, feeling each nerve twitch and wiggle to the sensation of his fingers. Without any pattern, his hand moved along the chest, just roaming across the smooth flesh, feeling the warmth, and feeling the love that was buried within it. God, this was really what love was about, not just the wild animal sex that he enjoyed so much, but also the amazing feelings a tender touch could awaken inside of him.

Jeremy could sense the melancholy mood of Taylor as he shuddered to the gentle touch of his man’s hands across his chest. He could feel his mind whirling away in that beautiful blond head of his and the love that flowed through his fingers was making his heartache with desire. The pain between his legs grew as Taylor’s hands slowly crossed his body, gently prodding his flesh, gently awakening each muscle and nerve.

Nothing in his past had ever prepared him for the feelings that Taylor seemed to evoke within him. Damn, the guy could make him do summersaults by just a look, or by a slight touch of his finger or his mouth or anything else of his. His past had only taught him the mechanics of sex, and to be honest, he was damn good at getting a guy off, but with Taylor, there was something different about the sex.

Sure, he had heard all of the speeches, all of the lectures and conjectures of how when two people who cared for each other the sex became better and no longer was sex. Yeah sure, he had thought, until that first night with Taylor. Damn, if the blond bastard hadn’t made him feel so alive, and yet all they had really done was fumble with each other, lick a little and then he had taken Taylor’s dick up his ass.

It all sounded so casual, so meaningless and yet he could still see each movement, feel each drunken grope, each tentative touch as if it was happening this second. The way his heart reacted, his whole body in fact had suddenly felt like it was having sex for the first time. The feelings were all fresh, new to his mind and that in itself had scared him. Despite that fear, his mind couldn’t stop him from making a second date, let alone stop him from wanting more of the boy’s body.

As Taylor’s hand slowly moved along his heaving chest, he could feel his lungs starting to drink in more air, preparing for a nights siege of love making. He smiled and felt the reaction coming from Taylor. Damn it, even his inner most thoughts seemed to be fair reading for his lover.

Somehow, their two bodies now lay next to each, their legs entwined and their arms now wrapped around each other. Taylor could feel the hot breath of Jeremy against the back of his head as he started to kiss the soft flesh under Jeremy’s neck. He felt each swallow and wondered what it would be like to kiss him while he swallowed his seed? The thought made him squirm a little, his mind desperate to try and figure out a way to bring that idea about, but giving up on it as his tongue reached for Jeremy’s nipples.

The hard rubber like nipples were something that Taylor loved to play with. Jeremy’s nipples weren’t exactly even, one of them was a bit mushed out and he loved to tease it with the edges of his front teeth while his fingers pinched the deep brown skin that lay around it.

Taylor’s tongue found his special nipple and he licked all around it, tasting the flesh as he worked in a circle, and he could feel Jeremy start to squirm as he slowly brought his mouth to cover the shaking nipple. He kissed it lightly, feeling a tremor of pleasure rush through it towards Jeremy’s heart.

Then he slowly pressed his lips down, ever so slowly letting the lips part and secure the hard flesh of the nipple. His teeth were tucked away as his mouth pressed harder on the flesh; making Jeremy wince a little as his back was being pressed into the mattress. Just as he was sure Jeremy couldn’t move deeper into the mattress, his teeth clenched the tip of the hard nipple and he bit down ever so lightly.

Jeremy groaned loudly and he thrashed his hands to one side as the pure pleasure of Taylor’s mouth was almost too much for him. He could feel Taylor lifting his mouth off his nipple, but his teeth still held onto the tip, pulling it up with his mouth and once more the tremors roared into his body, making his legs shake a little.

Just as he thought his nipple was about to be pulled out of his chest, he felt Taylor face suddenly pressing up against his chest, the teeth releasing his nipple and now Taylor’s tongue was feverishly licking at it and around it as his lips pressed down on his chest. Then the teeth came back, to reach further down and bite at his whole nipple.

He cried out as Taylor continued to nibble at him, to continue to bite and lick at his nipple. As he cried out, he felt Taylor’s hand sliding down his belly towards his aching groin. As the firm fingers pressed by him, he could feel his stomach tighten up and his legs start to go taut with anticipation.

Taylor had wanted this to be slow and deliberate, yet the fever of his love for Jeremy was rapidly overtaking him. His hand no longer moved slow and gentle, but instead had a sense of urgency as it pushed past the dark pubic hairs, groping with reckless abandon for the hot swaying cock that resided there.

His own heart was pounding in his ears as his mouth now licked eagerly at the hot flesh beneath it. He couldn’t stop himself as he started to huff a little, the wild desire taking further hold of his body. His arms were tinkling with desire as his fingers quickly found the thick throbbing pole. He wrapped them around the thick base, feeling its power, feeling it tremble with his grip.

As the fever took hold, his fears and concerns evaporated under the intense heat of the fever. Nothing else mattered now except for him to enter and become one with Jeremy. His hands started to stroke the thick cock while his lips and mouth moved down the sweating body. Jeremy was squirming now, his buttocks ached hard, willing Taylor to reach down and fill it with his love.

Just as his mouth found the huge throbbing penis, he heard the sound of a condom package being opened and he knew that Jeremy was waiting, willing him to move faster and he rubbed the huge cock against his cheeks, feeling its heat, feeling the pre cum as it smeared across his face. His lips kissed the head, then the hot shaft as he suddenly let it go from his grip.

Taylor suddenly sprang up and moved his agile body up the heaving body, feeling the power of his loins as they swept past Jeremy’s belly and stomach. His penis now poked up at the very mouth of his lover and before he could do more than rest his hands on the bed headboard, he felt Jeremy’s mouth start to cover his cock. The thin plastic condom wedged between and he felt it start to unravel down his own throbbing pole as he thrust forward with his hips.

His cock pushed in past the firm lips, the thin sheath of plastic rolling quickly down the warm pole. Taylor knew that Jeremy was gagging as the sudden thrust had almost taken him by surprise but he was being overwhelmed by the fever.

At first he had thought it was merely lust that drove him so wild but he had come to learn that it wasn’t any animal lust that was filling his mind, but the deep passion of his heart that was controlling him. The fever wasn’t one of just the need for sex, but the soul demanding its pound of flesh.

Jeremy was gagging as Taylor’s huge cock filled his mouth and throat. The condom fully unrolled down the thick shaft, right down to his pubic hairs and the tip of the cock was wedged firmly in the back of his throat. The slick coating was almost too much but before he could cough, the cock was sliding out of his mouth and his legs were forcibly being lifted up and outwards.

Taylor was no longer under control of his body. His hands acted on their own as they reached around to throw Jeremy’s firm legs up and over his shoulders. His hard cock ached between his legs as he struggled to get into position, his eyes glazed over, totally under the fever of his passion.

His 7-¼ inch long cock was pressing now up against Jeremy’s trembling hole. The cock was quivering as well and Taylor took a deep breath, his eyes locked on Jeremy’s face as he raised his hips back, the tip of his cock just barely touching the waiting entranceway. Jeremy could feel the tension in his body as it awaited the sharp jab of penetration. His eyes stared upwards, seeing the feverish look as Taylor began to push down.

Looking down, Taylor wondered just what was Jeremy’s secret. He looked so eager lying there, his legs spread wide and his eyes just absolutely trusting in their look. He wished with all his heart, as his hips started to push forward, that whatever it was bothering his lover, that one day he would find the courage to tell him, so that he could help ease the pain of it.

As the head of his cock started to penetrate the warmth of Jeremy, he could think of nothing but he would like to chase all of Jeremy’s pain away, to take all of his fears and trash them once and for all but his love for him. Nothing else mattered to him as he felt his long throbbing pole sliding deep within the eager body. Tears of love started to fall from his eyes as he felt the throbbing penis sliding deep inside of Jeremy’s velvet lined love canal.

His heart was pounding as he felt the love starting to fill his body, slowly it rose from his bowels as Taylor’s cock pressed deeper with each passing second. He could never understand how wonderful it felt, each time that Taylor entered his body. It never was the same; always it felt different and tenderer, even when the huge cock was being driven in by Taylor’s wild love frenzy. Somehow, it never really hurt, not like the other’s and he felt a small twinge around his heart, but before it could take hold he felt the power of Taylor’s love filling his soul and he cried.

Jeremy’s soul was battered and bruised, yet each time that it felt Taylor entering his body, the bruises seemed to heal and the pain just seemed to vanish in the darkness of the far recesses of his mind. Nothing was as real or as wonderful as the feeling of love that seemed to just flow within him, each time that Taylor was buried deep in his rectum. He groaned loudly with the pleasure that was slowly being pounded into him.

With each thrust, each twist of his hips, Taylor was slowly filling Jeremy with his love. Nothing else could make him feel this way, he knew that and it only drove him to go faster. His hands were numb as he pressed down on either side of Jeremy’s twisting body. The strong inside muscles of his lover kept reaching out, kept trying to snag the huge throbbing cock as it swept past them, to bury itself for a second against Jeremy’s soul.

The heat was intense, sweat started to pour from Taylor’s body and join the river of water that was coming from Jeremy’s body. Together it mingled, just as their love was joining deep inside. The sounds of wet flesh slapping together, echoed within their room, the walls bounced to the loud cries of love as Taylor’s body started to tremble harder and with more frequency. Nothing mattered now as his hips shoved forward with increasing fervour.

Jeremy started to cry harder as he felt the love pounding him hard and deep. His whole body was shaking to the strong thrusts, his own hips rising to meet each downward push of Taylor’s young strong body. His own long cock started to jerk back and forward to the violent shaking of his body. IT couldn’t stop anymore than Taylor could suddenly stop his fevered pushing.

Crying out Taylor’s name, Jeremy could feel his body uncoil in one giant spasm of love; his cock shot upwards, his balls pressing hard up against his cock root. His eyes closed tightly as the flashing lights were too bright for him.

Huge streams of his steamy white milk came roaring out from his penis, splattering in wild abandon across the sweat soaked body of both Taylor and Jeremy. The hot milk first hit above Taylor’s belly button, then the next higher, another hit dead centre of Taylor’s chest and the final hard shot splattered against Taylor’s chin.

As the sticky white cream hit, drops would drip down onto the quivering flesh of Jeremy, which only made him squirm more. The hips shook and twisted making Taylor’s cock bend and jerk in different ways while buried deep within the thrashing body. Taylor could feel the hot stings of Jeremy’s love as it splattered all over his straining body.

His mind and heart were filled with his love for Jeremy and he could feel his body ache as his soul drove him to greater heights, faster and faster his body crashed into Jeremy’s. Nothing else seemed to matter, the pain in his arms didn’t even phase him, nor did the ache in his legs, stretched out like a huge beam of steel. None of it mattered, all that counted was that he keep pushing, that he keep sending his 1 ¼ inch thick cock deeper and deeper into Jeremy’s warm and soft insides.

Taylor’s mind said it couldn’t go faster, yet his soul demanded his body to push harder and faster and his heart obeyed, racing like a jet engine out of control. His chest was heaving and his breathing became nothing more than indistinguishable gasps for air. His body became a blur as it pushed and pulled with lightning speed. The blood boiled and raced through his veins, desperate to fill the needs of his flesh.

His eyes fluttered, his breathing ragged and hard, his stomach twisting and the muscles groining as his body moved faster to the harsh beat of his heart. Every muscle ached and every nerve tingled with the fever of his love as his body continued to crash into Jeremy’s soft flesh. The huge throbbing cock urged him on, demanding more and the thick vein below started to swell as more and more blood was pumped through it.

Screaming out in a terrible yell of exctasy, Taylor fell forward, his body crushing Jeremy’s body. His hands folded as his legs shuddered, and in one second his entire weight came down onto the trembling body beneath him. His cock went soaring deep into the soft flesh, digging deep and sweeping aside all resistance.

The huge cock jerked hard as it struck the far reaches of Jeremy’s insides and Taylor could no longer focus. His eyes were shut, dark spots stung his eyes as his head swooned and rolled from side to side. His arms had buckled and he couldn’t even feel his legs anymore. The force of his explosion had taken every ounce of his strength.

His body sagged as the cock jerked harder and harder. The large flood of his milk was pressing against the thin plastic overcoat and somehow, it held, forcing the torrential liquid to flow backwards, down the encased shaft, coating it with its stickiness. Even the condom was no match for all the hot cream, and Taylor could feel his own seed seeping out along his groin, the huge river of cum sent back to coat his groin.

For two or maybe even three seconds, Taylor blacked out. His body had given everything it had, and there was nothing left within. His heart had almost exploded with the desire to obey his soul. Nothing else seemed to matter as he finally started to move and regain the feeling in his body.

The pain in his legs still made his body twitch and quiver as he finally was able to summon enough strength to roll off Jeremy’s own trembling body. The sudden release of all that weight made Jeremy’s lungs suck deeply, desperate to replenish its lost supply of oxygen. His chest was still heaving as he reached over, and with maddening slowness he pushed his body down towards Taylor’s groin.

With a shaking hand, he reached out to the softening penis, and with trembling fingers he managed to remove the soggy condom. The still extended cock was coated with large pools of Taylor’s milk and with agonizing pain lancing through him, Jeremy bent over the still trembling cock and kissed it. His lips pressed against the hot cock, the salty taste of the cooled cum made him twitch a little. His tongue flicked out and he struggled to clean his lover’s penis. It had given him so much pleasure, so much love that he needed to show it just how much it had helped him.

Taylor could feel the lips of Jeremy pressing on his limb cock and his heart almost groaned as the waves of love continued to flow through his body. As the love filled his veins with its passion, he reached down with his hand to let it rest on the back of Jeremy’s head. Softly he ran his fingers through the dark hair, twisting a lock here, letting another strand flow between two fingers. Damn, he knew he was in love, even the feel of Jeremy’s hair through his fingers made him feel needed.

As he lay there, his body slowly returning to a normal state, his mind started to understand more of what was happening to him. No longer did he feel so sad at not being home, not being there to hear the jokes around the table or to listen to Billy’s recital of all that had gone on at school, or his father’s tales of work.

“Damn, I love you Tay”

“I know Jer, I feel so at home when you are next to me”

“At home?”

“Yeah, I think I am getting it now.”

“What?”

“Its sort of like I am making a transition, from one home, the one I was made in, the one that allowed me to grow, to a new home, one of my own making now, one which is centred around me and you, not the one of my parents”

“So, you feel better?”

“I always feel better after being with you Jeremy, I guess I was sad because I was scared.”

“scared of what? Being with me?”

“Kind of, see, I think that it is my time to go out in the world and start my own family, sort of how my dad must have felt when he and mom first started out.”

“So, you are okay with all that’s going on over there, I mean not being as much a part of it as you want?”

“No, I still wish I was, guess that’s the hard part, letting go, which is maybe also a part of all this”

“What?”

“Of love, I mean I really love my family Jer, there are times when I wish I could just go and climb up into dad’s lap, or go and sit with Billy, which is weird, but then when I feel like that, I turn around and look at you, and I don’t feel like I need them as much, instead I go and sit with you or snuggle into you.”

“So what scares you then?”

“Everything and nothing, stupid huh?”

“I don’t know, I guess we all have our demons”

“Yeah, I mean the more I spend here, with you, the more I miss them and yet the less I miss them. I can’t explain it really, except that maybe its like going from one world to another, a sort of transition needs to take place. Maybe if things had been different between me and dad this wouldn’t be so hard for me to accept, maybe I would have had more of an idea of what to expect, I don’t know.”

“yeah I see what you mean, sort of… you tell your dad any of this?”

“Oh sure, and make him feel even more guilty than he does now?”

“Oh so you see that do you?”

“Huh? Hmm, yeah I guess I haven’t really shown it much have I?”

“No you haven’t, I mean I know some of what went on between you two, but he is still there for you, if you’ll just give him a chance, he is a nice guy you know, shit look at all he’s done for us.”

“Yeah he has kind of surprised me lately, the way he’s opened up so much, it is like he really does want to be a friend as well as a father.”

“So, why don’t you let him?”

“It isn’t all that simple, I mean we have so much bad history, I really let him down Jeremy, you don’t know the half of it really, but I just never really pleased him, I got into so much trouble, did so many stupid things that he just couldn’t handle it and mom’s loss at the same time. I really do love him though.”

“So why not tell him that? I bet he’d like to hear it now and then”

“Sure, but its only words, and they really don’t mean much unless you back them up with deeds, how can I do that?”

“Maybe you don’t have to, I mean maybe all he needs is for you to just maybe call him now and then, or not tense up each time he asks to talk to you, I don’t know, shit I am the last person to be an expert on how to talk with parents.”

Taylor could feel the pain that was always lurking in Jeremy, just waiting to burst out and grab him. He knew that each time he talked about his family, it would make Jeremy a bit sad, even though he tried to hide it. Well, his family was a part of him, he was just coming to terms with it too and maybe if he did talk about it, and maybe then Jeremy could feel that he could talk about his. It was a shot in the dark, but he knew that one day Jeremy would have to face it, just as he had to face his own thoughts.

“Well, you know I am here if you ever want to talk about it, I mean, shit Jeremy, I know it has to bug you listening to me go on about my crazy family, but I am here for you, if you want.”

Jeremy looked up at Taylor; saw the deep love that was shining in his face as he had spoken to him. Part of his heart wanted to believe the man that had touched him so deeply, yet he still felt the horror of his secret, he still felt it would turn the love that Taylor had for him into disgust and disdain. How could he take such a chance? He risked losing his own safe haven, his only real safe haven that he had ever known through his young life. Could he take that risk?

“No it doesn’t bug me, and I know you are Taylor”

“Yeah? Well I think you don’t believe it, but Jeremy, I’ll prove it to you, just give me a chance, okay?”

With a lump in his throat, Jeremy just nodded and rested his head back down onto Taylor’s belly. He could feel his power as the touch of Taylor’s hands on his head made him tremble a little. Yeah, one day he would have to take that gamble, but not now, now, he just wanted to feel Taylor holding him.

Billy stared at Mike as he lay on the bed reading. God he looked so fucking hot, his strong young body stretched out in such a way that Billy could see all of his assets. Damn, he planned it that way, least he thought he did but Mike did it so casually, he really wasn’t sure.

“Quit gawking at me, you’ll get it later”

“I damn well better get it later”

“Oh, and if not, what you going to do about it?”

“I’ll wait till you are asleep then rape you”

“Yeah sure, but you know, that does sound like an interesting way to get woken up, but maybe you shouldn’t.”

“Oh why not?”

“Hey, I might be having a nice hot dream about some cute guy, hate for you to wake me up out of that”

“You bastard… who the hell you dreaming of?”

“hehe, oh did I hit a nerve?”

“No, so come on, who you dream about,?”

“Oh man, you are so funny Billy, who the fuck do you think? You silly”

The grin on Mike’s face, as he said it, made his heart skip a beat a little. Damn him, he sure did know how to reach inside of him and just touch the right spot. Yeah, he believed it too, given the fact that sometimes at night, he would wake up to see Mike smiling and before he could even begin to wonder what was making him so happy, Mike would sort of reach out to grab him, or just hold onto him, even though he was fast asleep.

The knock on the bedroom door stopped any idea Billy had of lunging out and wrestling with Mike on the bed. He knew that if he did, it would end up with one of their dicks buried in the other’s ass. God, it felt so good to be able to just reach out and know that you had your life partner there. Sometimes he wondered if they were just in this for the sex, but then he would catch a glimpse of Mike’s face, or see his figure and his heart would go all weird, his head would get dizzy and he knew that they had so much more than just sex between them.

Mike sat up on the bed as Keith and Tommy entered their room. Their eyes seemed to be constantly moving, each of them searching out the domain of the two older boys. It was like they were scared, searching for a way to run out if needed, and yet their curiosity was stronger than their fear.

“So, what’s up guys?”

They stood inside of the door, both of them nervously fidgeting as they tried to figure out who was going to answer Billy. Keith had his face cast down, checking out the carpet but you could see his scared eyes glance upwards and check the faces of both Billy and Mike. Tommy wasn’t as obvious in his fear, he sort of had a rather defiant stance, but each time his eyes would fall on Mike, he would shift his feet and quickly glance away. He didn’t have quite the same problem when he looked at Billy, but he still wouldn’t look him square in the eyes.

“It’s okay guys, Billy told me about earlier, so its no big deal, that what you want to talk about?”

Trust Mike to take charge, god he was so damn hot when he did that. It was like when he would just all of a sudden reach out and grab him, toss him to the bed, and then lean over him. He never felt so much love as he did then, but Mike could also be the tenderest lover in the world. His hands could send shivers up and down his spine just by touching him, other times it could make him so weak you would swear that it was the wind blowing across his flesh. Shit, here he was dreaming of Mike when he really couldn’t do anything about it right away.

Keith looked up as Mike’s soft voice spoke. He saw the smile on his face and his heart seemed to suddenly stop pounding so hard in his chest. Tommy saw the smile around Mike’s mouth and he felt kind of weird. At times, he was envious of Mike, being the hot jock and the permanent guest in a house that was filled with fun and other cool stuff, and yet he was starting to feel that there was more to Mike, and he actually could feel himself wanting to just sit in his lap and tell him everything.

Billy watched as both little boys stared at Mike. He could just feel Mike’s smile widen, as he waited patiently for one of them to start to talk. It really was something, the way Mike could just make everyone feel at ease, feel like they were special to him. He knew he had that ability too, but with Mike, it seemed so much more natural. Keith poked Tommy and it looked like they had decided that Tommy would be their spokesman.

“Okay, give me a sec, geez, uh… well, you going to tell on us?”

“Tell? Like what that you were playing with yourselves?”

“Uh huh”

“Well, why do you think we would? Is there something else we should know?”

“NO! honest, there isn’t anything else, please, I don’t want Keith’s dad to stop us from being friends”

“Whoa there, why would Chris do that?”

“Cause, its dirty, right Keith?”

“Yeah, I guess”

“Come on guys, who told you that shit?”

“Well, my mom for one, then there is the teacher at school, they all say its wrong for a guy to touch you there, its dirty and stuff like that.”

“Well, I think they were talking more about if some stranger tried to touch you, that you shouldn’t let them and stuff like that, but it really is okay for you to touch yourself, it is your body.”

“Do you cum a lot?”

Mike choked a little by the sudden question, and he stared at the innocent face, wondering if Tommy was trying to pull his leg or if he really was serious. Damn, how did he get all mixed up in this anyhow, it wasn’t his job, more like it was up to those two older horn dogs downstairs.

“Yeah Mike tell us, do you cum a lot?”

Billy had scored with that one; he had to admit that it was a good shot too. Well, two could play at that game he thought as he decided he might as well be honest, no sense in hiding the facts. Who knows, maybe they really were just curious.

“Yeah I have, not lately though, no real inspiration to get me going”

There, he had him now, no way could Billy walk around that one and he managed to glance over to see the blue eyes simmering with feigned anger. Yeah blondie, you just keep those eyes glaring, hehe, he thought, his smile broad as he looked at Billy, daring him to try and come back on that one.

“What’s inspiration?”

“Huh? Oh well that is when you think of something special, to kind of get you in the mood”

“Oh, like another person?”

“Yeah that works, if you really like that person then it really helps.”

“Oh”

Mike saw Keith grin and sneak a look at Tommy. Damn, could those two be doing each other? He couldn’t believe it, because at there age he really didn’t think all that much about sex, but then again it was around that time in his life when he and Billy started to mess around. Well, it wasn’t his problem, but damn he wondered just what was it they did, they couldn’t be very big yet and no way they could know about fucking or such. Mind you as he looked at Tommy, he kind of re thought that idea a little.

Billy had seen the same look and he could feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. Shit, if they were screwing around, maybe he should tell Chris. It wasn’t like they were his brothers but he did kind of feel responsible for them, besides, he liked them and it was kind of nice to have them around. He wasn’t sure, but he kind of thought Mike was taken by the whole idea of Keith being around, sort of like a brother that he never had.

“So,uh who do you think about for this, inshpirateshun, whatever it is”

“Oh well I don’t know about Billy, me I think about this blonde at school, a real dish, has a nice butt too, but you’ll learn all about that as you get older, but maybe Billy can tell us who gets him hot?”

“Hot?”

“Huh? Oh, excited so he can, uh, you know”

“Oh, okay, that’s being hot?”

“Well its one word to describe it”

“Hehe, kewl, Keith you get hot so much.hehe”

“Tommy!”

Billy almost fell off his chair at that one, and the look that Keith gave Tommy was almost the same as the look he had given Mike just moments earlier. Damn it, those two were doing more than just jerking off and he knew he had to get them to talk to Chris. First though, he had to make sure they weren’t scared by it all.

“Look guys, I really think you should talk to your parents about this stuff, they know a heck of a lot more and can really help you.”

“NO!” they both cried out.

“Why not, come on Keith, Chris isn’t that bad is he?”

“No, well I don’t know, I mean, well… I don’t know him Billy, he might not like to talk about this stuff, my Mom hates it, she says I should ask a teacher if I really have to know, and well, I really don’t want to have him mad at me anymore”

“Yeah, parents don’t like to talk to us kids, mine don’t even like to talk to me about school, no way they would talk about this stuff, my mom would really freak, she already thinks I am bad”

“Oh come on Tommy, your mom doesn’t think that, maybe she just gets mad sometimes, but they love you”

“No, not like my sisters.”

“Hey its different with girls, I know, I have three sisters too, but my Mom and Dad love me too, just different cause I am a boy”

“Yeah but you are an athlete, they have to like you then”

“No Tommy, they like me even if I wasn’t an athlete”

“Mine don’t, maybe if I get to be a football star they will, but I want to know about this stuff now, please, can’t you tell us about it?”

Mike didn’t know how to answer that one, plus he could feel tears around his eyes. Damn, the things kids could say and if you weren’t listening. Shit, no wonder Tommy had been a bit weird towards him, he had been secretly wanting to have what Mike had. Christ, how do you tell a 13 year old that sometimes, parents are just jerks, that you kind of have to roll with it. As he looked at Tommy, he felt Billy standing next to him, his hand resting on his shoulder. God, he wished he could just put his own arm around Billy and hug him tight.

“Look, we’ll make you a deal, Billy and me, if you do this one thing, okay?”

“What?”

Tommy could feel it coming, he knew that Mike would bail on them, just like everyone else the big guys always bailed on the little ones, and he was going to lose Keith as a friend, he just knew it.

“Okay, what if Billy and I go talk with Chris about this stuff, and then if he wants to talk to you guys more about it, we’ll be there with you, but we’ll tell him that we are fine with you guys asking us stuff like this, and if he wants, we will, okay? Does that sound okay with you two?”

“You mean you will tell him for us?”

“Well yeah, but he may want to talk to you about it himself, and he has that right, he is Keith’s dad”

“Yeah but if he does, you’ll be there too?”

“Yeah, if you want”

“What do you think Tommy? It sounds okay to me”

“I don’t know, you going to go and talk to my parents too?”

“Do you want us to?”

“No, isn’t going to help if you do”

“Well, that maybe up to Chris, maybe he can talk to them, if he thinks he has to, but I don’t think he will, so what do you say Tommy, want to give it a try?”

“Can we think about it for a bit?”

“Okay, but really, he should know and you know, parents have a way of finding this stuff out, trust me they do”

“What did your parents do?”

“Oh not much, just talked to me a lot, and well, not much else”

Tommy looked long at Mike. He stared into his green eyes wondering if Mike was just being a big guy or if he really would do what he said? Somehow, he kind of thought that Mike would, but he wanted to think about it, maybe Keith and he could come up with a better way in which they didn’t have to tell any of the grown ups.

“Can we tell you tomorrow? Chris said Keith and I could play video games before bed”

“haha, sure tomorrow is soon enough,”

“Thanks”

Before either Billy or Mike could say another word the two had disappeared out of the door and they heard them racing down the stairs, giggling with each other as they ran to go play video games. Maybe all that they had seen, the looks, the questions they asked, really was just out of curiosity, but somehow, both of them doubted it.

Billy sat down on the bed, his arm still on Mike’s shoulder as he heard them running down the stairs. Damn it, they sure were smart kids, and the questions they asked, god did he even think of that stuff at their age? He looked over at Mike, seeing the same type of questions running through Mike’s head. Well, he had come up with a good solution, and really, he did feel it was beyond them to handle without Chris knowing.

“So, that was pretty wild.”

“Yeah no kidding, I think Chris should know though, even if they don’t want us to tell him”

“Yeah I guess, but shit Billy, they looked so damn scared, I mean do you think they are doing more or is someone else doing more to them?”

“Fuck, I didn’t think of that, you think?”

“I don’t know, but you hear a lot of that stuff happening these days, hey remember Cathy’s brother?”

“Cathy, is that the blonde who has the cute butt?”

“No silly, it’s Shawn in Calculus, but don’t you remember about her little brother?”

“Shawn in calculus? Fuck he has no butt, how the hell can you think it’s cute? And, no I really don’t remember her at all”

“Yeah well her kid brother killed himself, remember, he was only 14 or so, but he jumped off some cliff, cause some of the kids in school had been teasing him for being a fag?”

“Oh Shit, I had forgotten about that, yeah I remember it sort of, he had complained about a teacher or something and it got all out of hand if I remember.”

“Yeah, his little league baseball coach, he was a pretty popular dude, and he said that the kid had approached him, that he hadn’t initiated it, and the courts had bought his shit, so everyone called him faggot and stuff, then he went and killed himself.”

“Yeah I recall it now, then about a month after the police arrested the coach, didn’t they find him in bed with some other kid?”

“Yeah, but he was 12, so, I don’t know, you think its possible?”

“Fuck, if it is, how do we find out?”

“Shit I don’t know, what if we are wrong though? Fuck, damn it Billy, what do we do?”

“I don’t know, maybe we should talk to dad about it?”

“Before Chris?”

“Yeah, I think so”

“Okay, yeah I guess so, but hey, not until tomorrow, let them have tonight at least.”

“Yeah, they are kind of cute aren’t they?”

“Hehe, yeah, do you think we were that cute at their age?”

“I don’t know about you, I sure as hell was though”

“Oh right, listen to Mr. Modesty now”

Mike was about to reach out to grab Billy when he heard the loud booming voice of Seth. He just grinned as Billy waltzed out the door, escaping for the moment Mike’s retort and further advances.

Seth picked up the car keys by the doorway, his face with only a small grin adorning it as he stared back into the house. Well, least he could rely on Billy to keep things calm and he quickly started to head for the car. As he approached his car, he saw Chris standing by the passenger door, a quizzical look on his face as all Seth did was motion him inside.

Chris didn’t know what was happening, just that after dinner Seth had been very quiet. He had caught him staring at him several times and he wondered just what the hell was wrong. He could feel a sense of apprehension as time wore on and the evening seemed to drag for him. Television held nothing to hold his attention, as every few minutes he could see Seth either checking his watch or glancing at the wall clock.

Despite numerous attempts at conversation, Seth refused to budge and Chris was becoming alarmed. Had the lunch been too much, had he jeopardized their relationship for some stupid high school prank? Damn, he hoped not, or maybe one of the little ones had done or said something. Shit, he was getting paranoid and just after 9 o’clock Seth finally seemed ready to talk.

Chris was surprised instead, Seth told to go wait for him by the car, that they were going to go out to get some stuff at the local convenience store. He tried to object but the stern look was too much for him. Meekly he obeyed, wondering just what he had done. His mind was busy playing back the entire dinner when he heard Seth yelling for Billy to tell him they were going out.

With surprising speed, Seth wheeled the car down the driveway and turned out of the lane onto the main road. Chris wasn’t sure what was going on, but suddenly Seth veered off down a side road, and he knew they weren’t going to any convenience store. He had no idea where this road led and he just sat there, wondering what was going on.

“You going to tell me where we are going?”

“Nope”

“Why not?”

“Surprise”

“Oh shit, you bastard, you getting even for lunch aren’t you?”

“Yep, don’t you just love surprises, haha”

“Okay, well two can play this game Mr. Lawyer Man”

“I sure hope so, money manager, damn that sure doesn’t sound as bad as ‘lawyer man’ haha”

“Well that’s cause we ain’t as bad as you lawyers, so there”

“Oh you are bad, just that you manage to get good lawyers so no one knows… so there yourself”

“Oh you are in a playful mood, I should have guessed, you had that damn court room face on, that should have been my clue”

“Like, uh DUH. Haha”

“Okay, so come on, where we going?”

“Hold on, we are just about there, then you can see for yourself”

The car continued to traverse the windy road. Chris was content to just sit back and watch the scenery go by. On occasion he would glance over at Seth, and he could feel his heart twisting a little, amazed at how much the man meant to him. It really was something, how tender he could be and then in an instant become a raging tiger. No wonder he was such a good lawyer, he could charm the pants off you or flay them off with the backside of his tongue.

Damn, just thinking of that made his groin stir and he could feel the lump growing as the car finally broke out of the brush into a small clearing at the top of the rise. He stared out to see the night sky clear above him and the million lights of a civilized world twinkling up at him. To his right he could see nothing but the dark mass of land and mountains but as he stared out the sheer beauty of the sky took him aback.

The soft whir of the electric motor intruded but he looked up to see the sunroof being slowly opened up. God it was quite the site actually and he glanced up as Seth reached over and then pushed another damn button in the fancy car. He jumped a little, not from the wonderful scent of Seth’s cologne that was filling his nostrils, but because his seat started to tilt backwards and slide forwards all at the same time.

Finally, the seat stopped its movement and he found himself staring up at the most beautiful sky he had ever seen. The lights from the city didn’t come close to interfering with the wondrous beauty of the dark sky. He felt like he could reach out with his hand and snatch one of the brilliant twinkling stars and hold it in his hand.

He felt his left hand being taken off his lap and felt Seth slip it into his own hand. Together they lay there, side by side staring up at the sky and all that nature had to show them. The moon was still not yet up and the darkness had yet to fully descend, but the sky was dotted with all shapes and sizes of stars, each one more brilliant in colour and hue than its neighbour. He could feel a sort of tightness around his chest as he just enjoyed the site, soft music started to play from the car stereo and he just sighed.

“For a lawyer, you sure know some interesting spots.”

“Hehe, yeah I guess it does seem out of character doesn’t it?”

“Well, if you had asked me that a few months back, I would have said yes, but no, not now, I think it is perfectly in character.”

“Thanks, this is kind of a special spot for me, I knew just after dinner, that I had to show it to you”

“Oh, special? In what way, or shouldn’t I ask?”

“No, you can ask me anything Chris, I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, I am not proud of everything I have done in my life, but I won’t hide that from you, least of all from you.”

“I can’t imagine you doing things you weren’t proud of, but I hear you, I know it is tough enough to have a gay relationship never mind keep secrets too”

“You know, I was only 18 or 19 I think when I first came up here. Damn, if I knew then what I know now, it sure would have been different”

“Oh? Just who did you bring up here?”

“Only one person, you are the second”

Seth gripped Chris’ hand tightly as his mind flashed back to that time long ago, when his world was so easy then, so black and white, no grey at all. Now it was a tangled web of doubts, fears, and even deceit. Strange, how the older you got the more complicated your life became. Back then it was simple, and she was so perfect, so much what he had only dreamed his girl would be like.

He had wanted to go to a movie, but she had refused, instead she had wanted to go and just talk somewhere, to get to know him she said, which terrified him to no end. He didn’t think what he had to offer was all that interesting to someone as wonderful as her, but he realized that night, there was nothing he could deny her. Her request was like a command to him, one that he would gladly die for if that is what it took to fulfil her request.

It was here, in this very spot, that he had first touched her, felt her fire within and from that day onwards, this had become one of their few refuges from the world around them. When Taylor had been teething, they would drive up here to let the ride soothe him and together they would stare out at the sky, holding their special bundle of joy between them.

He could remember each trip up here, see her tilt her head, look at him with that smile that made his heart turn to jello, made him weak at the knees and took his breath away, all in just one look. Nothing was more perfect than for the two of them to sit up here, lying back and looking up at the stars in the sky. He would think of how lucky he was to have his own star, the one that sat next to him, holding their children, and holding his heart.

“A lot of memories are here Chris, good memories, I want to make more of those memories, will you help me do that?”

Chris started to cry, he couldn’t help it as he felt the love coming from Seth, and to think that he would take him here, to his one secret place where he had only known joy, to ask him to make more good thoughts, it was too much and he could feel his body shaking with the tremendous joy that it felt.

He could feel his lover crying and his heart started to ache. At first he thought he had said the wrong thing, but as his hand was being squeezed tight, he realized that in a few simple words, he had reached Chris’ soul and that just as with her, he knew that this too would become a special place again.

Seth reached over, his body shifting in the seat as he moved over, ignoring the jabbing pain of the stick shift that ground into his soft belly and he held onto the shaking body of his lover. He felt the tears on his cheek and he reached upwards, his hand gently touching the flushed cheeks, wiping away the joyful tears and then he closed his eyes and kissed Chris lightly on the forehead.

The trembling was unbelievable; every part of his body moved and shook as if they were having an earthquake. The car even seemed to rock as Seth’s lips touched his flushed face. The hot touch was too much for him and he groaned loudly, his voice echoing in the still of the night, the soft instrumental music deafened by his own aching voice as Seth continued to kiss him.

Chris twisted his body in the seat to face Seth more easily, the star lit sky looking down on them as they embraced rather awkwardly. It was like being in high school once more, they found ways for their legs to bend and cross each other so they could embrace and hold onto each other. At one point he was sure that Seth’s foot was wedged into his groin, but he realized it was the stick shift.

They kissed and groped like two amateur 16 year olds and the car continued to rock to their every movement. The sky continued to blaze down on them as Chris felt Seth’s hand move down between his legs, finally able to push aside the opened zipper and grip at the bulging lump within. The touch of Seth’s fingers around his throbbing cock made him yell out, and it was just like high school.

Cars could be heard driving up, parking off in their own spot and that too added to the unreal scene as they continued to fondle and grope each other. In one minute Seth had Chris cock firmly between his fingers, stroking it as he breathed deeply, smelling not just the fresh air, but smelling Chris’ own scent mingling in with that of mother nature. It was like riding a high that knew no boundaries as he continued to stroke the hard man meat, knowing his own cock was being searched for by another pair of eager hands.

He moved over more, shifting again and feeling the car rock this way and that. Together the two men groped each other, one time it was Chris who could fondle the large throbbing cock of Seth, then it was Seth who managed to grip and pull at Chris’ own aching penis. Seth could feel his body aching, not just from the weird positions, but also from the urgent desire that was filling him. He could feel Chris’ body shaking as he too sensed the sudden urgency in his own body.

The groans became louder as the night sky grew darker. The stars shone even brighter as he could feel Chris’ body shuddering to his touch, he could feel his heart pounding urging his hand to move faster and he felt the sudden harsh bite on his lip as Chris too urged him on.

Despite the car being a luxury special edition model, it was still not made for two grown men to make out in. His elbow hit the horn several times, even once he managed to set the wipers off and all the time he was focusing on trying to get his mouth over Chris’ throbbing cock. They would laugh or jump, as some mechanical feature would suddenly spark to life and then they would start all over again, finding new positions to try, new ways to stretch out and still touch and hold each other.

It didn’t really matter who came or even if they did, it was the amazing fun they were having that seemed to lift them both up. The night was young, they were young as they struggled to find a way to reach climax. The sound of two quick horn bursts way done from them hardly registered, but when a car closer did the same, it triggered an old memory in his mind.

Seth suddenly pulled back, and he too gave his horn two quick bursts and then he looked over at the startled Chris. Totally deadpan, a look of absolute calm on his face he just looked at Chris and said:

“Cops”

Chris blinked once, then suddenly it dawned on him too. He looked over at Seth, who was just staring at him. Now what were they going to do? Cops? Shit, they were busted.

“Cops?”

“Yeah”

“Fuck, what, I mean, how… shit”

“Yeah, well I would suggest that you might want to put that back in your pants, I don’t think our finest gentlemen in blue will really want to see that”

“Fuck, what are we, I mean yeah okay, shit”

Seth couldn’t help but start to laugh as he tucked his shirt into his own pants and zipped them up with some difficulty. His cock was still damn hard, even the notion of police finding him in a compromising situation hadn’t killed his desire to get it on with Chris.

“Shit, this seat won’t go up, fuck fuck, Seth will you stop laughing and help me?”

“Oh okay, but you look so cute all flustered and all, hang on, there, now tuck your shirt in, you look a fright. Haha”

“You are one warped lawyer, you know that?”

“Oh yeah, I can’t wait to bring you back here next time one of the boys has trouble sleeping, hehe”

“Pervert”

“Oh you got that one right, okay here they come, now look natural… okay I take that back, look sexy”

“Shit, shut up”

Chris couldn’t help it, he started to laugh as he realized that Seth had been egging him on. God, the man did have a wicked sense of humour but he still hadn’t a clue as to what Seth was going to say when the police officer knocked on their car window and wanted to know what they were doing up here, specially considering their age.

Even knowing that it was coming, the sound of the Police Officer tapping on their window with the end of his flashlight startled him and he could feel himself jump. Fuck, he would not be a good crook, he got too nervous around authority figures, and as he thought of that, he had to chuckle. Could there be anyone or anything more intimidating than Seth Bradford with a head of steam up? He doubted it and sat back to listen to what he was sure would be entertainment for the night.

The harsh yellow light flashed in Seth’s face as he rolled down the window to talk to the police officer.

“Hello Officer, something wrong?”

“Good evening Sir, uh, may I ask what you gentlemen are doing up here this late at night?”

“Certainly, we are on our way to get some ice cream for our boys”

“Excuse me?”

“We are on our way to get some ice cream for our boys, I live just down the hill there, over on canyon road”

“Uh, yes sir, but uh, there are no stores up here sir”

“Oh I know that, I just wanted my friend here to see the wonderful view, besides, its sort of an anniversary”

“Uh, well, yes sir, I guess, uh may I see some id please? From both of you, if you don’t mind”

“Well, let me see, oh yes here is mine, is there something wrong with us being up here officer?”

“Well there is a no parking or loitering posted sir, and it is a favourite spot for the local kids to make out.”

“Oh yes, I know that, this is where my wife and I used to come for just that reason, which is why I am here now, showing it to my friend”

“Okay, uh Mr. Bradford, I’ll just have to run this first, can I have your id Sir?”

“Uh, well I seem to have, oh here it is, sorry it must of fallen out, uh, here”

“Okay, thank you Mr. Jenkins, it won’t be a minute”

“No problem officer”

Seth was having the time of his life, he could see the absolute terror in Chris’ face and while the scene did pose some interesting problems, it really wasn’t all that bad, least they hadn’t been caught with their pants down. He just laughed and looked at poor Chris who looked like he could strangle him.

“Are you nuts?”

“What?”

“An anniversary? Getting ice cream?”

“Well it is true, we are going to pick up some ice cream”

“Yeah, well the store is what, four or five miles the other way?”

“Oh not five, four at most”

“Shit, you are crazy, and what bloody anniversary are you talking about?”

“Why ours of course”

‘Ours? What?”

“Yep, tonight is the first of many dates up here on our mountain, so it is kind of an anniversary in the making, maybe I should clarify that for the officer?”

“Oh you are wicked, damn it you really are enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Yep, I feel like 16 again, and it’s all your fault”

“Mine? How the hell did I cause this?”

“Well, you were the one who set up lunch appointments, hehe”

Before Chris could even think of a retort, he saw the policeman returning, except this time it was his partner. Damn it, he did pay his parking tickets didn’t he? Well, if he hadn’t, he knew of a good lawyer, sort of.

“Mr. Bradford? Seth Bradford?”

“Yes Sergeant, guilty as charged”

“Well Sir, I thought I recognized the name, sorry to have bothered you, my partner is new on the force, otherwise he would have made the connection.”

“No problem officer, busy night is it?”

“No, rather quiet considering its spring break and all, normally we don’t bother coming up here unless it’s the weekend.”

“Oh for the kids, yeah I can remember when I was their age, great to be young isn’t it?”

“Yes Sir it sure is, well sorry to have bothered you, take care”

“You too Sergeant, thank you”

As the police officer was walking back to the patrol car, Seth started his own, chuckling with the nights efforts so far. He looked over at Chris, and winked at him, which brought an answering chuckle from the younger man. Damn it, he thought, this was a man full of surprises and life with the lawyer was certainly proving to be anything but dull.

Jeremy sat in the chair at the foot of the bed, watching Taylor as he slept in their queen size bed. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat there, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The night wasn’t cold, but he felt chilled as he saw Taylor twisting and turning in the darkness. He had snuck out of bed about an hour ago, and he just wanted to sit there, to watch Taylor.

His mind had been working overtime, as his entire past was flashing before him. The soft tenderness of Taylor earlier had touched him like no other time. He knew that his time with Taylor was becoming shorter with each passing second. How could he not tell him now? The question was too burning, too scary and yet deep inside he knew he would have to tell him, have to share it with him and in doing that, he felt that his life would be shattered.

What little joy he had left would vanish once he unburdened himself to Taylor. He felt so damn dirty, so unclean and despite having shower after shower, year after year, he still felt dirty. No amount of drugs or alcohol had been able to erase that feeling; no amount of casual sex had been able to supplant that feeling of being dirty.

Looking at Taylor, the way he moved so restlessly on the bed, he knew that Taylor was feeling it, feeling the doubts and uncertainty of being with him. There was no other explanation, and no matter how much Taylor said that he would be there, he, Jeremy, knew better than that. The tears were more like a flood as they rolled unheeded down his cheeks. His heart was aching from the pain it was feeling, and yet he knew that he had to face this moment, he just wanted a little more time before having to leave.

“What are you doing? Why are you sitting over there?”

“Taylor… I didn’t mean to wake you”

“Shit, what’s wrong, why are you all dressed, hey are you going somewhere?”

“No, not yet”

“Not yet? Jeremy, please, what have I done? TELL ME PLEASE…”

“You haven’t done anything Taylor, honest it isn’t you”

“Then what? Why are you leaving? TELL ME, DAMN IT I CAN CHANGE, WHATEVER IT IS, I’LL CHANGE BUT TELL ME WHAT IT IS”

“Taylor, fuck it isn’t you? Can’t you see it’s me, I am the one who has to leave, you don’t want me, not after”

“After what? FUCK TELL ME JEREMY, SO HELP ME GOD TELL ME, I WON’T LEAVE YOU, PLEASE”

Taylor had tossed aside the blankets. His fear was etched across his entire face as he bounded off the bed, tripping on the discarded sheet, but he managed to regain his balance and he moved quickly to kneel in front of Jeremy. His hands rested firmly on the shaking hands of his lover. His heart was being ripped to pieces and he had no idea why. There had to be someway to get through to Jeremy, someway to convince him that he loved him and no one else, and that whatever his past was, it wouldn’t change how he felt.

“Please Jeremy, don’t, tell me what it is, please”

Jeremy looked down at Taylor, into his eyes and he saw the fear there. He could even smell it as he stared into Taylor’s soul. Damn it, he could see the flames of Taylor’s love for him, flickering but still there, as if waiting to reach out and engulf him. Oh how he wished it would, but he knew that once he started to speak, the flames would be extinguished, lost to him forever.

“Okay, I was going to anyway, guess I might as well tell you now”

Taylor reached up, his hands now taking Jeremy’s hands and he lifted him out of the chair, standing together, he looked into the dark eyes, feeling the fear that was bubbling there. His heart started to falter slightly, fear replacing his concern when the fire in his belly and deep within him started to flare upwards. He cast out the doubts that were taking hold of his body and he tossed aside the fears that were trying to silence his heart.

He slowly took hold of Jeremy and together they sank down to the floor. He wrapped his arms around Jeremy, looking at him with nothing but love in his heart and soul.

“Okay, go ahead, I am ready”